‘Sex ed needs to include pleasure and be inclusive’
At the Southbank Centre’s Women of the World Festival, sexpert Oloni wants women to break down sexual taboos and have more orgasms.
Content Warning: NSFW
Sex and relationships expert Oloni gave a hilariously candid talk on Saturday 11th March as part of the Southbank Centre’s Women of the World Festival. Alongside podcast host Tolani Shoneye and musician Jordan Stephens, everything from self-esteem to sex toys was on the table, which made for an educational and deeply entertaining evening.
Oloni immediately kicked off the discussion with an excerpt from her new book, ‘The Big O’. The anecdote was about her first sex toy being a huge, black dildo. The room quickly exploded into laughter and applause, washing away any tension or awkwardness.
“At 14 with friends I denied touching myself. Sex ed needs to include pleasure and be inclusive. Imagine if we’d had conversations in school about emotional aspects of what sex can be like and consent. Encourage everyone to place boundaries firmly.”
One of Oloni’s most passionate talking points was The Orgasm Gap. Studies show that heterosexual women experience the least amount of orgasms during intimacy, whereas heterosexual men experience the most. As detailed in her book, Oloni is a big advocate for women breaking sexual taboos, being able to take control of their own pleasure and “have the best sex of your life.”
To much applause, Oloni said “If he’s not going down on you, what are you even doing there, girl?”
Oloni rallied the men in the audience to give their female partners more orgasms, and she was met with whoops and cheers. The audience was overwhelmingly women, but the importance of men being included in conversations about sex and relationships was made clear. As Tolani put it, “it’s like giving a talk about diversity to a room full of black people. Like, they know.”
Oloni’s talk fostered an atmosphere of camaraderie, as women felt comfortable to ask intimate questions and cheer each other on. To be surrounded by so many women feeling comfortable with talking openly about sex and their own pleasure made it clear why Women’s History Month is so important.
The Women of the World Festival is the world’s biggest festival celebrating women, girls and non-binary people. Held annually at the Southbank Centre, the festival invites activists, performers and educators to bring communities together and work towards gender equality. This year’s festival was packed full of events covering motherhood, diversity, sexuality, disability and much more.
Recently, there are more reasons than ever for women to stick together. Jude Kelly CBE, founder and CEO of the WOW Foundation, says “we have all been increasingly alarmed by the many forms of violence and abuse that men rain down on women who hold public platforms and take public stances on issues of any kind.”
Kelly calls for women to gain strength through community, saying “our ability to fight racism, ableism, transphobia, homophobia and more rests on us looking for what we have in common and signing up to be allies in each other’s struggles.”